Second Week Living in Germany as Missionaries- A vulcan like separation of logic and emotion.


Here starts week two of living in Germany. We’ve actually been here for 10 days but I’d like to think that the first 3 days were just travel days. Culture shock! I feel like we have to learn everything again; How to throw out the garbage, how to use the bank, how to acquire sustenance, how to wash our clothes, how to get around, how to understand legal documents…It’s all new.

On the first day we came into our apartment and there was food in the fridge, a flower and card on the table, plates, pots, cutlery, stuff to clean, and so on. We felt so welcomed by everyone here. Truly amazing.

We are experiencing wide mood changes; hope, discouragement, purpose, loss, brotherhood, abandonment, joy, sorrow. I suppose that some of these emotions are the pangs of relinquishing control. We have sold our things, packed up our most valuable possessions, sent them with some guys in a van, and moved away from our home area. I knew that things would be difficult but my logic is never able to accurately describe how a new situation will feel.

On logic: I’ve always felt that my logical mind and my emotional mind were separated. That the emotional mind needed to be told what to feel by the logical mind. I was really surprised to find that it’s not that way at all. My emotions knew that I was starting a new chapter in my life. In the weeks before we left I was a mess emotionally. I felt like Jean Luc Picard in the Star Trek the Next Generation episode where he mind melds with Sarek (Spock’s Father) to help him get through an important delegation. Sarek was super old and his control was fading. Picard had to deal with the un dealt with emotions of another man’s life. In Star Trek, Vulcans learn to suppress their emotions in order to have a society where logic prevails. Many circumstances that we go through in life beg us to do the same. Suppress.

Other outside sources call to us to push down our emotions. Some of Becca’s family have expressed their shame with us asking people to help us pay off our dead car. To me this is the perfect opportunity to disconnect. I’m wired to do it. As much as my spiritual self longs for community and family, my natural self wants to be alone. It wants to find a cave to crawl into and never be found.

The only thing to do now is hope. Hope that God will enable us to do what we think that he has called us to do here in Germany. Isaiah 40:31 “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew {their} strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; {and} they shall walk, and not faint.”

3 thoughts on “Second Week Living in Germany as Missionaries- A vulcan like separation of logic and emotion.

  1. What a blessing this is for you and Becca to walk through together! Don’t shut down — dive in even when it hurts and you want to cry and turn back and wonder why in the world you ever decided this would be a good idea. Remember God’s calling in those moments, Bro!

  2. Hey Ryan,
    Thanks for being open in your sharing. We humans are so messy sometimes, emotionally speaking anyway. It would be so easy to follow God and his calling if there weren’t all these broken people to deal with, including ourselves. But God calls us to love him with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind, that’s logically and emotionally. Suppressing isn’t the answer, but acknowledging and surrendering it all to Jesus might help. When things get a little crazy, remember who you are in Christ. According to Ephesians, you are in fact seated with Christ in the heavenly realms. Rest there for a while and everything else will fall into place.

    P.S. Bob and I were big Next Gen fans, we obviously did not spend enough time talking about that while you guys were here.

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