How I got over my latent homophobia and continue to do so.


I think that I might be homophobic. When I see two gay men kissing, it seems weird to me. It’s as if they’ve put broccoli, hardboiled eggs, and orange juice into a blender and started chugging. When I think about drinking such a concoction I am grossed out. I’ve never had that before and to my knowledge, there is no record of acceptability regarding that combination of raw materials.

Strange Plate.

As with many things in life, I feel that it is best to approach this topic with thinking. We humans have all kinds of impulses which are built in but are not necessarily expedient to carry out. I’m afraid of sharp objects and heights for example. I have to overcome my fear of knives often because they are so useful. I’m not interested in simply avoiding situations where knives, saws, or scissors are used because my life would simply not function as smoothly without such commodities.

My fear of heights is something I have long been aware of and determined to conquer. I love scenic over views so I often go against my natural predisposition in order to experience the beauty of nature itself. I have used this fear to my advantage. When I used to snowboard, I would feel this wave of fear wash over me whenever I needed to approach the ski lift. That feeling would persist until I reached the bottom again. I came to enjoy the heightened sense of awareness that came with experiencing that fear and treating it with a healthy dose of logic. I was able to say, this is good even though my nature says it’s bad.

I’ve found that homosexuality is not that gross or scary after all. Going back to the blended drink analogy, I am repulsed by the combination of three elements which I really like. Broccoli, hardboiled eggs, and orange juice are some of my favorite things to consume. I think that they taste delicious separately and although it’s not for me, I could imagine that some people could find value in the combining of these items. It’s a lot like gay marriage. Here are three things which I can genuinely appreciate. People loving each other, people being committed to one another, and people finding out who they are.

I really like the last one. I know a guy who really likes to roller-skate. It’s his passion. It’s weird to me how much he geeks out on those skates but hey, he’s happy. He knows what he likes and that is awesome.

I can make a logical conclusion that people being in love, being committed to one another, and becoming comfortable with their identity are all good things. If those people decide to combine but don’t do so according to my preferences regarding gender, who am I to complain. They are not me. It doesn’t hurt my life at all, in fact, I think that it enriches my life when gay people get married or when someone comes to terms with the fact that they identify with another gender or whatever. It broadens my perspective and prepares me to overcome other irrational fears.

There has been a shift in the way that I see gay people ever since I’ve started applying logic to my perception of their love. I now appreciate the beauty of people loving one another. There are a ton of heart warming images coming out of Washington State after the recent legalization of gay marriage there. I no longer struggle to find beauty in these unions because the ingredients are clearly noble and good. Once again I’m finding that logical conditioning can positively affect emotional responses. Congratulations to all of the newly weds in Washington state. I hope that other Americans will soon experience the freedom that you’ve just tasted.

8 thoughts on “How I got over my latent homophobia and continue to do so.

  1. I am reminded of the raw eggs I chugged when Rocky came out. What a shock the taste was, when Rocky seems not to have had any problem with it at all. (I was 7 I think.)
    Excellent perspective. You gave me a lot to think about; I think it applies to much more of life as well.

    1. I probably watched rocky 100 times as a kid. I remember drinking eggs once too. It was unpleasant to say the least. Rocky 1, 2, and 4 were what I considered to be canon.

  2. Ryan, even though we haven’t hung out since waterbury? I always loved your moral quandaries. I remember you agonizing buying cigs for family members. You’re a good guy man. Hope all is well way out there butters!

    1. Thanks man, My mom actually used the bible to force me to buy her cancer causing sticks of death. I should have just disobeyed her and the bible. I really hope that we can hang out again sometime.

  3. There is a great book called ‘Joined Together: The Christian Case for Gay Marriage’ that discusses all the themes you mentioned in depth with very interesting studies. I’m sure you can pick it up at your nearest library. :>

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